Suzi returns from her business trip to find her belongings sitting on the doorstep. She only wanted to shower and then get stuck into the kitchen, cooking for her husband. But he was at work when she arrived home, and her mother-in-law opened the door when she tried to get into her house. Why did she do it?
You know how when you get off a three-hour flight — for work, not vacation — and all you want to do is go home, shower in your bathroom, and get into the comfiest pair of pajamas? So, that didn’t happen to me. Instead, I went home to all my belongings sitting in garbage bags on my doorstep.
Seeing all this on my front porch, I just stood there, utterly bewildered and more confused than ever. All my clothing, boxes of shoes, and even a stack of hardcover, first edition novels, all sitting there gathering dust.
I remember shoving my suitcase to the side and fumbling through my bag for my keys, praying there would be some logical explanation for this nonsense.
Before I could slot my key into place, the door opened, and who did I see? Anna, my mother-in-law, looks as calm and collected as can be. Except for the smirk on her face — something I had come to believe was always on her face when she got her way. I assumed my husband Daniel was at work because it was still early. I just wanted to come home before him and surprise him with dinner.
But the surprise was on me.
“What’s going on? Why are all my things in garbage bags?” I asked Anna, hoping there was more to this than actual nonsense.
With an air of nonchalance — always a classy lady, my mother-in-law stepped out of the house and kicked one of the garbage bags with my clothing.
“You left Daniel to starve, and I couldn’t have that. So, I came over to visit and cook. I did notice that there was some garbage in the house, so I needed to tidy it all up.”
It’s great having all your clothing carted out and being called garbage. It’s also great for your mother-in-law to come and babysit your husband while you’re on a work trip.
Unfortunately, I am hot-headed, as Anna learned.
“This is my stuff,” I said. “You can’t just toss my things because you feel like it.”
“I’m just helping out, Suzi,” she said, leaning against the door frame. “You should be grateful. Now, I’m going upstairs to rest before I cook dinner for my son.”
Grateful? I was about to lose it. I wanted to scream my anger out. But at that moment, I realized there was more to the story. And I could do anything until my husband was around. But I knew that the time had come for a conversation about boundaries. My mother-in-law needed to be reminded that I was the leading woman in her son’s life.
Or so I thought.
When I confronted Daniel about it later that evening, I rushed to him, expecting him to be happy to see but also outraged at his mother’s behavior.
“Ma’s just trying to help, Su,” he said, sitting at the table while she filled his plate up. I looked up at her, and her reply was another one of those smirks. After that, I grabbed a bread roll and took a walk down the road. I needed to diffuse my anger.
Later that night, I waited until Daniel and his mother were asleep and carried my yet-to-be-unpacked suitcase out of the house. But before I left, I took off my wedding ring and left it on the table where all the keys went.
I wrote on a single piece of paper: Please, throw this away with the rest of the trash.
Then, I ran out of the house to the cab waiting for me, ready to take me to my sister’s home for the night.
The following day, I was in the kitchen with my sister, eating cookies and telling her what had happened, when my phone began blowing up with Daniel’s calls — I ignored the first six and then finally answered.
I could hear the desperation in his voice when he begged me to return and talk about everything. I accepted. I didn’t want to leave him. I loved him. I just needed him to see how serious the situation was.
When I stepped through the door, there was no sign of Anna, and all of my belongings were neatly arranged. I assumed that he had also put my clothes back into the closet. Daniel apologized profusely, finally acknowledging the invasion of my personal space and the completely inappropriate actions taken by his mother.
After an hour of heart-to-heart conversation, he assured me it would never happen again. My husband, who initially dismissed the chaos, hurt, and anger, now understood the importance of establishing boundaries and ensuring that our home remained a sanctuary for us alone.
There’s still one more difficult conversation — the one with the mother-in-law. I need her to grasp the significance of respecting our boundaries and not meddling in our personal lives. Sure, it will be uncomfortable, but having Daniel at my side will make all the difference.
It’s been about a month, and the conversation with Anna has yet to happen. I don’t know what Daniel told her, but it keeps her from us. But now, our home is a much healthier environment, and we’ve put the drama behind us.
Until the mother-in-law resurfaces.
And thank goodness Daniel didn’t lose my wedding ring.
What would you have done? If you went home to find all your possessions waiting outside for you? What would you tell your mother-in-law if she did that?
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