Was a bit taken aback by my MIL’s behavior towards my daughter. It had started subtly, but over time, it became increasingly clear that she favored spending time with my twin boys over her. It pained me to see my daughter’s confusion and hurt, especially when she asked me why Grandma didn’t seem to love her anymore.
One evening, as I drove the boys to Grandma’s house per her request, my daughter’s question echoed in my mind. I decided to confront the issue head-on.
When we arrived, my MIL greeted the boys with open arms, showering them with affection and attention. My daughter hung back, trying to smile bravely but clearly feeling left out. I took a deep breath and finally broached the subject.
“Mom, I’ve noticed something lately,” I began carefully. “You seem to always want to see the boys, but you hardly mention spending time with [daughter’s name]. Is everything okay?”
My MIL’s expression faltered momentarily, but she quickly recovered. “Oh, it’s nothing like that, dear. I just thought the boys might need more attention, being younger and all.”
Her explanation didn’t sit right with me. “But [daughter’s name] is your granddaughter too, Mom. She notices these things. She asked me why you don’t seem to love her anymore.”
My MIL looked genuinely surprised and a bit guilty. “Oh, sweetheart, that’s not true at all. I love all my grandchildren equally.”
“Then why did she tell me you said she ‘doesn’t deserve to go’?” I pressed, recalling the incomplete statement my daughter had shared with me earlier.
My MIL hesitated, realizing she couldn’t evade the truth any longer. “I… I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… she’s older, and sometimes I think she doesn’t need me as much as the boys do.”
I was taken aback by her admission. “Mom, whether she needs you less or not, she still deserves your love and attention just like the boys do. You can’t treat them differently based on some assumption.”
Tears welled up in my MIL’s eyes as she nodded slowly. “You’re right. I didn’t realize how much it was affecting her. I’m so sorry.”
From that day on, my MIL made a concerted effort to treat all three children equally. She spent individual time with each of them, bonding over shared interests and creating memories that strengthened their relationships. It took time for my daughter to fully trust that Grandma loved her just as much as her brothers, but the effort was worth it.
As for me, I learned the importance of advocating for my children’s emotional well-being and addressing issues that could potentially harm their self-esteem. It wasn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame but ensuring that all my kids felt valued and loved by their extended family.
Over time, our family relationships grew stronger, with my MIL playing an integral role in each child’s life, celebrating their milestones and cherishing their unique personalities.
