I’M $40K IN DEBT BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND HAS NOT BEEN CONTRIBUTING TO OUR BILLS – BUT THIS TEXT WAS THE LAST STRAW.
We’ve been together almost 10 years. I own the house we live in and do our grocery shopping. He stopped paying bills over five years ago when he lost his job. For the past three years, he’s been back to work. He cleared his debt, and he only pays for his car insurance and our cell phone bill.
I’ve asked him a dozen times to start contributing and it always turns into a fight. I’ve buried myself in debt maintaining our lifestyle alone. But today I just had enough. He sends me a message saying, “Look what I found!!!” I open it and go LIVID as I see a photo of A BOAT! He literally BOUGHT A BOAT while I’m struggling to pay all our daily expenses!
I realized then, it wasn’t just about the money anymore. It was about respect, partnership, and support — none of which he was going to provide. So, I devised a plan. I texted him back, pretending, “Wow! That’s amazing, babe! Can’t wait to see it!” Inside, I was seething, but I needed to keep my cool to execute my plan.
Over the next few days, I started to quietly gather evidence of all the expenses I had been covering. I made copies of bills, bank statements, and receipts. I documented everything meticulously. Once I had all the proof I needed, I visited a lawyer to understand my options. The lawyer was sympathetic and advised me on the best course of action to protect myself financially.
Then, I took a deep breath and decided it was time to confront him. But I wanted to do it in a way that left no room for argument. I called a meeting with him at home, making sure it was a time when we wouldn’t be disturbed.
When he walked in, all excited about his new boat, I asked him to sit down. I handed him the stack of evidence I had collected. “What’s this?” he asked, looking confused.
“This,” I said calmly, “is a record of all the bills and expenses I’ve been paying on my own for the past five years. While you were buying a boat, I’ve been drowning in debt, trying to keep us afloat.”
His face paled as he flipped through the pages. “I didn’t realize it was this bad,” he muttered.
“Of course you didn’t,” I replied. “Because you never bothered to ask or care. This isn’t just about the money, it’s about respect and partnership. And I can’t do this anymore.”
He tried to defend himself, to argue that he would start paying his share, but I had heard it all before. I stood firm. “I need you to leave,” I said. “This is my house, and I can’t keep supporting someone who doesn’t support me.”
He protested, but I was resolute. I had already spoken to my lawyer and knew my rights. “You have two weeks to find somewhere else to live,” I told him. “After that, I’m changing the locks.”
The next two weeks were tense, but I felt a sense of relief knowing that I was taking control of my life. He tried to guilt-trip me, to convince me to give him another chance, but my mind was made up. I had given him enough chances.
When he finally left, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It wasn’t going to be easy to recover from the debt, but at least now I had a chance to rebuild my life on my own terms. I contacted a financial advisor to help me create a plan to pay off my debts and start saving for my future.
I learned a valuable lesson about the importance of mutual respect and support in a relationship. I deserved someone who would stand by my side and contribute equally, not someone who would take advantage of my generosity and hard work.
As I looked around my home, now peaceful and truly mine again, I felt a renewed sense of hope and determination. I was ready to move forward and build a better future for myself.
