{"id":53409,"date":"2026-01-25T18:47:07","date_gmt":"2026-01-25T18:47:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/popularnews.pw\/?page_id=53409"},"modified":"2026-01-25T18:47:07","modified_gmt":"2026-01-25T18:47:07","slug":"my-ex-gave-me-eggs-and-bologna-then-bragged-about-what","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/popularnews.pw\/?page_id=53409","title":{"rendered":"\u201cMy Ex Gave Me Eggs and Bologna\u2026 Then Bragged About What?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Breakups are messy. But mine?
\nMine involved cold cuts and public humiliation.<\/p>\n

After finally kicking my ex, Alex, out of my life, I thought I was free. But a week later, he showed up at my doorstep holding a grocery bag like some kind of sad, meat-based peace offering.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Inside: a dozen eggs and half a pound of bologna.<\/p>\n

No note. No apology. Just a weird, greasy silence and a mumbled, \u201cThought you could use this.\u201d<\/p>\n

I took it, mostly just to shut the door without a fight.
\nLater, I tossed the bologna and made an omelet. End of story, right?<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Wrong.<\/p>\n

A few hours later, I ran into a mutual friend at a coffee shop. We chatted briefly, and then he said something that made my stomach turn:<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw Alex today. He was bragging that he\u00a0bought you groceries<\/em>\u00a0because you were\u00a0struggling to eat<\/em>\u00a0without him.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I blinked.
\n\u201cHe what?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Apparently, in Alex\u2019s warped little fantasy world,\u00a0those $6 worth of breakfast basics<\/strong>\u00a0were proof that I couldn\u2019t survive without him. He\u2019d even told people,<\/p>\n

\u201cShe looked so thankful\u2014like I saved her or something.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Let me be clear: I didn\u2019t ask for help. I didn\u2019t need help. And I definitely wasn\u2019t rescued by a man whose idea of generosity was\u00a0discount deli meat.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, I texted him just three words:
\n\u201cKeep the bologna.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Moral of the story?<\/strong>
\nSometimes, the only thing your ex brings to the table\u2026
\nis exactly what he handed you:
\nfull of bologna.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Breakups are messy. But mine? Mine involved cold cuts and public humiliation. 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