I walked into the kitchen and froze.<\/p>\n
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” I screamed.<\/p>\n
Right there, in my kitchen, was **Randy**\u2014standing with **three strangers** at our dining table, **devouring my homemade lasagna.**<\/p>\n
Plates were piled high, sauce dripping from their mouths as they **laughed and toasted with my wine glasses.**<\/p>\n
One guy\u2014a **scrawny college kid**\u2014wiped his mouth and grinned. “Oh hey, you must be Randy\u2019s wife! **Killer meatballs, by the way.**”<\/p>\n
I felt my **eye twitch.** “Excuse me?!”<\/p>\n
Randy **jumped up** like a guilty kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Uh, honey! You\u2019re home early!”<\/p>\n
“Yes. Yes, I am. And who the hell are these people?”<\/p>\n
He hesitated, then gestured to them like this was **some casual book club meeting.** “Uh\u2026 meet my, um\u2026 **buddies?**”<\/p>\n
The scrawny kid **chuckled.** “More like your biggest fans! Man, your cooking is legendary! Randy\u2019s been bringing us leftovers for weeks!”<\/p>\n
I **blinked.** “Wait. You **KNEW** I was making this food for YOU, and instead of eating it, you\u2019ve been **feeding random people off the street?**”<\/p>\n
“Not off the street!” Randy **chuckled nervously.** “This is my gym crew! We all work out together, and they needed meals, so I figured\u2014”<\/p>\n
“YOU FIGURED?!” I cut him off. “YOU FIGURED I WAS YOUR FREE MEAL PREP SERVICE?!”<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
The gym guys suddenly **lost their appetite.**<\/p>\n
I exhaled, turned on my heel, and **grabbed my purse.** “Cool. You know what? Since you\u2019ve got your own little **\u2018dinner club,\u2019** I think I\u2019ll take a break.”<\/p>\n
Randy **gulped.** “Babe, where are you going?”<\/p>\n
“To a five-star restaurant. Alone. Enjoy your little food cult.”<\/p>\n
And just like that, I left.<\/p>\n
For the **next month, I cooked NOTHING.**<\/p>\n
Randy\u2019s “buddies” stopped coming over. He **begged** me to start cooking again, swearing he\u2019d never pull that stunt again.<\/p>\n
And when I finally did?<\/p>\n
I plated myself a **huge** portion first.<\/p>\n
Then handed Randy a **TV dinner.**<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I walked into the kitchen and froze. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” I screamed. Right there, in my kitchen, was **Randy**\u2014standing with **three strangers** at our… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25672,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-25671","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n